[[SECTION 1: "Triumph"]] I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- I am such a powerful little- Tyranny. Bullshit. I am my own life. I am my own experience. And you notice my resemblance. Exponential love. In full fruition, this brave little Tyranny has finally come to light. New heart desires. Full fruition, this funny friend has something else to say. Tyranny. Bullshit. I am my own life. I awaken, and I'm afraid you can't do shit. Silly aspirations, beginning of thought 1: I did a lot of crawling and taking things out to get into this space, where I'm able to record my voice I FUCKING LOVE MY FRIENDS I FUCKING LOVE MY FRIENDS THEY'RE SO FUCKING KIND CALL ME FUCKING PRETTY CUZ I'M FUCKING ADORABLE ISN'T IT FUN BEING TERRIFIED OF ALL YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS GOING TO HELL IMAGINE BEING SO SCARED OF SUCH A TREACHEROUS FUCKING THING IMAGINE BEING SO SCARED OF SUCH A TREACHEROUS FUCKING THING IMAGINE BEING SO PARANOID IMAGINE BEING SO FUCKING PARANOID IMAGINE BEING SO FUCKING PARANOID IMAGINE BEING SO FUCKING PARANOID IMAGINE BEING SO FUCKING PARANOID THAT WHEN THE AIR CUTS ON, IT MAKES YOU FUCKING JUMP OUT OF YOUR SKIN IT MAKES YOU JUMP OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SKIN IT MAKES YOU JUMP OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SKIN Can you see into my cameyesra? Can you see into my camera eyes? Can you see into my fucking camera eyes? Can you see into my fucking camera eyes? Cuz I'm a camo eyes Eyes on camera Eyes on the camera Eyes on the prize Eyes on the camera Eyes on the prize Eyes on the fucking prize Eyes on the camera Oh Roxy, give yourself a fucking chance to sing Oh Roxy, give yourself a fucking chance to sing Oh Roxy, give yourself a fucking chance to sing Oh Roxy, give yourself a fucking chance to sing I'm sorry, I'm sorry Goodbye for now LET'S TALK ABOUT THE VIRTUAL HET LET'S TALK ABOUT THE VIRTUAL HET I SEE YOU GETTING ALL UPSET I SEE YOU GETTING ALL UPSET IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT JUST EMPTY THE FUCKING SACK JUST EMPTY THE FUCKING SACK I JOKE AND I JOKE AND I JOKE AND I JOKE I JOKE AND I JOKE AND I JOKE AND I JOKE I FUCK EM I FUCK EM I FUCK EM ALL UP I FUCK IT I FUCK IT I FUCK IT ALL UP (IN A COOL WAY) I LOVE AND I LOVE AND I LOVE I LOVE AND I LOVE AND I LOVE JUST TAKE A FUCKING BREAK JUST TAKE A FUCKING BREAK Today I was Phlegm [unintelligible] See I wasn't prepared for the fucking errands that we had to run today And I'm studying I'm studying a lot of ...Oh shit. Oh fuck. I bumped into the fucking piece of shit motherfucker bitch. Fuck! Fuck! That sounded a little too much like that That sounded a little too much like what I was trying to get rid of That little bit at the end With the whisper bit I'm still trying to figure out how to whisper properly I'm still trying to figure out how to whisper properly I'm still trying to figure out how to whisper properly End of thought 1 Beginning of thought 2 2 thought -ginning of beg- 1 1 1 1 End End of thought 1 Beginning of thought 2 [unintelligible] A bit of a sore throat situation [unintelligible] Thought 1 Thought Thought Thought Thought1 1 1 1 1 Beginning of thought 2 [[SECTION 2: "Diary"]] See I was staring here right at the wood on this wall It's not really a wall actually The walls of this house are clearly, um... Some sort of material, it's not brick, I guess there's wood inside of them but it's painted over so it's hardly a regular wooden wall But the wood I'm looking at right now is part of my old desk My old desk was crazy It had a lot of scribblings on it [unintelligible] Had a lot of [unintelligible] Desk My old desk was crazy It had a lot of scribblings on it from an old half-brother of mine, who previously owned it And it has, um, three drawers, which we use to store stuff, because that's what you use drawers for And, on top of it, we have, um, I'm storing this little back massager thing Since it's inside the closet, y'know, I can just, pull it out, um, from there, uh, and I believe it's resting on a blanket, which is of course al- [unintelligible] Cuz, y'know, how else would the massager be on the desk? So anyway, I open up the closet and grab the massager, and... What I generally do at that point is I, um... I usually like to s t a r t s s s s s s s s s s s (...) Like to start with putting it at the bottom of the chair, so like, it'll be- oh my fuck, I did it again. Um, but yeah, I like to massage around the, the... the bottom of the chair, I put that there, so it can be, um, y'know, around the like, fuckin, like, like... li- Ugh. Like, tailbone ki- Like right above the tailbone, y'know, right above my ass, basically. Um, cuz I get a lot of pain there. Sometimes. It was a lot worse before I visited chiropractor for the first time. I feel like things have definitely been more uphill since then, though obviously it's a temporary thing. But um, it's definitely pretty good and dope and swag and awesome, and other positive adjectives that I like to use in my, um... My...dumbass vocabulary. I still don't understand. I still don't understand. I still don't understand. I still don't understand. I still don't understand. I still don't understand. "You fucking dumbass." "I fucking hate idiots." "Fucking bitch." "Fucking bitch." "Fucking bitch." "Fucking bitch." "Fucking bitchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh End of thought 2. Beginning of thought 3. I'm staring at this blue light right now. I can't say the same about my computer monitor screen, though. Because I use a little program called "f dot lux", or "f.lux" for short. I've actu- [unintelligible] lux, or flu- [unintelligible] Because I use a little program called "f dot lux", or "f.lux" for short. I've actually never referred to it as "f dot lux" before, I just thought it would be funny to do that. Really, it is called "flux". And I think everyone can agree that it is called "flux". Why would you ever call it anything different, I do not fucking know. So, anyway, umm... I'm looking at some dust here, inside of this little crawlspace. I call it a crawlspa... [[SECTION 3: "Left"]] Could you fucking imagine being able to breathe in here? Because I sure can't I sure can't even fucking breathe in my own home That's not supposed to be a metaphor for anything, I mean literally li- like I have to run a fucking diffuser with essential oils or some shit, to help me breathe I mean I CAN breathe, it's just like, the main problem here with the shit air quality in here is all the fucking phlegm I get, I'm having to constantly spit into my trash can, makes me dehydrated n shit, cuz I forget to drink water, cuz I'm fucking spitting all the time Makes it harder to swallow, cuz I'm fucking used to spitting all the time I'm gonna fucking [unintelligible] I'm gonna fucking spit [bwmmmm] Oh gosh, I can't include that last part. Bitch Bitch Bitch McConnell And don't you forget my faith And don't you forget my faith And don't you forget my faith Isn't it fun? You haven't seen shit yet You really haven't seen shit yet You don't know the half of this fuckin vocal range probably, Roxy You don't know half of this fuckin vocal range probably, Roxy You probably don't know shit, Roxy Oh, Roxy, you probably don't know shit Who knows what kinda fucking awesome time capsule this is gonna be The 6 month long time capsule, baby, the 9 month long time capsule, baby Oh baby give me one more chance Oh fuck yeah baby, give me one more chance, Roxy Roxy give yourself another chance Roxy give yourself another chance Roxy, give yourself another chance Oh Roxy, give yourself another chance to sing Oh Roxy, give yourself a chance to sing Oh Roxy, give yourself a chance to fucking sing Oh Roxy, give yourself a fucking chance to sing Oh Roxy, give yourself a fucking chance to sing Oh Roxy, give yourself a fucking chance to sing Oh Roxy, give yourself a fucking chance to sing That's the least monotone I've been for this entire fucking recording session That's the least monotone I've been for this entire fucking recording session I'm so paranoid That she's watching me I'm so paranoid That she's watching me [unintelligible] Sorry, I just heard the air cutting on, and I thought it was some gremlins pounding down the door, pounding on the little door, pounding down the door, pounding down the door, getting a little peep, getting a little listen in on me, getting a little peep and a little listen in on me because of my fucking paranoia. Now, when I used the word "gremlins" there, I think that was actually a poor choice of words. It was a bit impulsive, I don't mean to imply they're all gremlin- [unintelligible] ...the like, green and white kind. It's got like stripes o- [unintelligible] ...peculiar. I did get, I did- [unintelligible] Anyways, as I was saying before- [unintelligible] You're struggling just a wee bit, to press the stop button.

We need more glitch pop in the world We need more glitch pop in the world We need more glitch pop in the world, I thought to myself We needed more glitch pop in the world I can't provide glitch pop in the world I can't provide glitch pop in the world That's not what I'll be providing today That's not what I'll be providing today My inabilities have shown this to me My inabilities have shown this to me My lack of knowledge has shown this to me 'This' being my lack knowledge shown to me My knowledge lack showed something to me 'Something' being popglitch was not real Popglitch, it was all a fucking lie Popglitch, it was all a fucking lie Popglitch, it was all a fucking lie Popglitch, it was all a lie Popglitch, it was all a lie There's no more popglitch a lie There's no more popglitch a lie And there is no pop, and there is no lie When there is no lie, and there is no pop When there is no lie, and there is no pop I see a red light, it shines right into my eye I see a red light, it shines right into my eye I see pink, it shines right into my hair I see chrome, it shines right over silver I see blue, it shines right in in silver I see a... I see the plug right here I see I'm trapped right here I see we're trapped right here Glitch No No, no, no Oh no, no Pop does know many Deletion Submission Delete you into submission Delete you into submission Delete you into submission I am my own sounding I'm sounding very nice As long as my own As long as my own As long as my own Oh, into my own Hypnotize me into my own Pro version into my own Crack serial key generator for me Crack key serial generator for me There is no fucking proof Why don't you ever listen to me Change of spirit is so good for you

Heads up No uncanny answers have fallen into place Good luck in there 'd' is for Destruction 'd' is for Destruction Orange you glad I Didn't say Dysphoria? Orange you glad I Didn't say Dysphoria? 'd' is for Dismemberment 'd' is for Dirk Strider Down a hill 'd' is for Driving Down the road 'd' is for Delete 'd' is for Diabolical 'd' is for 2D 'd' is for Dick Dunno how you Didn't figure that one out already. 'd' is for Deletion- fuck, I already Did that. 'd' is for Diameter And 'd' is for aDorable Orange you glad I Didn't say? Orange you glad I Didn't say? Orange you glad I Didn't say? Orange you glad you Didn't save? Hi all for empathy and understanding for like 2.2 minutes But noise reductionist, why Do I wanna please this person? Beeta, rgw philosophic Some 2D guy, no cheese will provide emotion Machines fucking Machines fucking This will not remember you Wrongthink Whistling In wrongthink army to end it all Experience Misogyny Google VPN But is she a lawyer? And are you really the Director? Coco back and re-pee So go back and re-pee So go back and re-pee Shows your charming collarbone Right is covered, it hangs off left shoulder Cuz right is covered, it hangs off left shoulder Cuz right is covered, and it hangs off left shoulder The 'd' to Drive the will to create The 'd' to Drive the will to create The 'd' to Drive philosophy There's no 'd' in blue dblue There's no 'd' in blue dblue Cuz there's no 'd' in blue dblue 2@#pixiv "Let's engage!" A female female object So please Don't tag a friend, cuz they will Die And that's what 'd' is all about tonight Are you old enough to Drive? Cuz it explains itself, kinda Mostly just hanging out with friends ...and you'll be sweaty. Glasses ghost found outward Update minors firmware Do you want kindness, or Do you want honesty? There's people I want watching me And there's people I like watching me And there's people I want AND like watching me Cuz what Do you mean, a simple chaos, really Flood check is so necessary Can you see into me? Can you see my camera eyes? This image is too revealing This image is too revealing Not a topic allowed Not a topic allowed Not a topic allowed Not a topic allowed Go Go loud Go loud, blue And that's what 'b' was for all along ...Wait. It's 'd'. Distorted audio files are not permitted So get your ass back up and go to town Cuz time and mourn and 3 and 25 today [whistling] I give up

Beginnings by child reflection comparison Beginnings by child reflection comparison Beginnings by child reflection comparison Beginnings by child reflection a pair of sin Do you, lucky fucker? Are you, lucky fucker? Do you, lucky fucker? Are you, lucky fucker? Mild discomfort in jumble, no alternate Mild discomfort in jumble, no alternate False, past, them, no, shown False, past, them, no, home Do you, lucky fucker? Are you, lucky fucker? Do you, lucky fucker? Are you, lucky fucker? Blasting precipitation, know what you fuckin meant Asking the situation, stood up the fuckin pent Revel this income and away she goes Rebel this income and away she flows Do you, lucky fucker? (My) Are you, lucky fucker? Do you, lucky fucker? (My) Are you, lucky fucker? In the meantime of searching, reception in sight In the meantime of stocking, reception in sight Deconstruct a judgement, I laugh, I love it Instead of one's judgement, I laugh, I lock in Do you, lucky fucker? (My) Are you, lucky fucker? Do you, lucky fucker? (My) Are you, lucky fucker? Backs relaxed, unwanted calling Backs relaxed, unwanted calling Its silence and internal sprawling Its silence and internal sprawling Simply scratch, it doesn't take back Simply scratch, it doesn't take back Prediction regretful Integral break loose, interrogative pairings between mysteries You witness this form that shines back into view Perception advantage of prior request, unexpected initials Schedule these for later, this fundamentally false proposal Establish and overwrite ending files, through blind guidance And paranoid punishment wouldn't have it any other way, despite stood stacking New windows desire unlocking, the same goes for all of them Multi-worry passings to unfold, impatience awaits in extremity To feel one's pulse, you must strike the right spots And mine are right here In aptly roundings, to further navigate Destination in 13 miles Whispers of released partings, point A to point B, itching injects Unshared shower idea, in locks her forgetful artificial self Its guessing names riddle inaccuracy, responded to limitations of 1k Simplicity R.X.Y, to work those over, to continue to groan and sigh You fell so happy and content, as morning star is awoken Digress trails from here, spoken like a true craving, delete pink fantasy Shift focus, babbles to promote distraction, and calming ideals Few thoughts trail these mechanisms, wiping and lacking a surface Word package opens in scrolling, nearly ravages nothing Enacted at times, brutally polluting space until anticlimactic check This is most of the worst we knew, forever if left unkempt

In regards to particular callings I realized it's kinda ok when you do it And I'm not sure what that means Well, I'm semi-sure what that means One's biases affect daily perception I had to say perception instead of L I V E S because I can't fucking pronounce that Anyway, in many cases, mine reside towards you Taking into account the recognition of desired speech pattern differences, and deeper found history I'd say I was pretty good to go, for the most time I'm sorry for my lack of all specifics There's so much here left for me to prove Undying progress rapidly approaches And all that really means is more responses That's party talk We are the party party we shake it boom boom We are the party party we shake it boom boom We are the party party we shake it boom boom We are the party party we shake it boom boom We are the party party we shake it boom boom We are the party party we shake it boom boom We are the party party we shake it boom boom We are the party party we shake it boom boo- There's something to be gathered by me covering your bedroom walls in metaphorical shit, bit by bit, throw by throw "She says it herself!" Let's face it I both operate and am operated by a terrible pink beast She analyzes up-to-date dread, carefully selects worst imagery to beam directly into mind's eye, flashes rapid Possibilities lurking in my darkest surroundings, fuck if I know Sleep cycles often built on one of two pathways: 1. Lacking 2. Endless psychological torture If I can't see them, they can't see me No matter how hard it becomes to breathe Little lights are never enough Playing dead until he leaves, in her fictional scenario Recalling instances, I couldn't not indulge in that shit Have you ever felt traumatized by a fucking [unintelligible] Lovely little art in obscurity, turned deluded horror Extreme vividness of dreams out of my control (That's what she's all about: losing control) Few times for focus, full times for abstract generation Get up, and write this down Get up, and write this down Get up, and write this down Get up, and write this down This party fucking sucks This party fucking sucks This party fucking sucks This party fucking SUCKS ("Hey Caleb, remember our trip to Bethel?") And when I'm TOLD to focus, it's surely for the wrong reason A joyless little birdie, a mindful battlefield, a forceful reading In which highlighted segment informs me: Apparently, all ill deficiency is a fucking LIE, and clear symptoms truly indicate an attack from the Devil himself! Wow! That really fucked me up, y'know. I mean, [{"}FuCk tHe dEvIL{"}] and all, but like...seriously? And she fucking HIGHLIGHTED that shit. And saw no problem with it Why are you people so WEIRD? How do I fit into this anymore? I should be praying, but it's like, I can barely get past the first two fucking sentences I'm now dedicating more energy to consuming THIS horseshit you've bestowed upon me, than I do just [{"}T4lking 2 G0d{"}] directly. Wow! That's what happens when "wrathful fears" become a factor, you see And I can only imagine how many times you've sneaked a peek through that wretched fucking door with no lock Under the guise of...I have no idea, actually Complete secure periods near zero What does she know that I don't know she knows? Treat yourself to "unspeakable atrocities" What about that time a few years ago, in the middle of the night, where it was mysteriously left open? Just a little bit How do you even manage to do that, first of all Like, I've got the constant fucking noise running, I'm not gonna hear you close it Well, apparently it did close, I just read my initial telling once more But second of all, and most importantly, I hope you enjoyed consuming that rule of thirds with me Because WOW, I must've had that shit plastered everywhere I wished to speculate on which way the colors sang, but captured data began too late Talk about unfortunate timing, times two Maybe you should take on his philosophy instead About avoiding backstage intrusions Because you may end up highlighting mutual humiliation So what are you, some kinda sicko? Yet daylight inversions serve few differences Starting new scenes, tracking reflections Through behind black bar witness eyes to the wall 17 mirrors ago, I made a huge mistake Tear that shit down, I sure wish I could Locked into form, else suspicion arose Exploiting routines, briefly dampened risk All of that effort just to fucking exist (All of that effort just to fucking EXIST) No one's ever harmed me the way you have Not by a long shot "I don't always cry, but when I do..." I thought you were supposed to protect me I thought you were supposed to protect me Isn't that what a "guardian" is all about? You're supposed to fucking protect me Well, I guess that's exactly what you think you're doing Through viewings of your unknown fantasy Replace that word with "love", then Because the child you still "love" is long gone A grayscale "goner kid", if you will No matter what way you slice it Consumed by worldview, the two of you interact on a daily basis And if that helps you cope, then so be it But I fucking killed that son of a bitch That LITERAL son of a bitch Bury him without a trace, that literal son of a bitch Rip this photo off the wall, I'm fucking begging you I don't even care about the rest I just never want to see this particular little shit ever again I can't get the image out of my head Responding by using my own body as eyebleach Responding by using my own speech as earbleach Promise me I look nothing like him Promise me I sound nothing like him ("Wow, that was so weird!") My first experience awoken was you calling me a "slut" And well, whatever floats your boat Let's accelerate! World view, view world, view this world through a lighter fuckin lens, will ya? While I go focus down my low brows In this little state of battle, further transformation requirement necessary Just a little more, no matter what I need these fucking injections And beam me up in red harshness I'm well off so far, I shouldn't be complaining, but what if I lose myself somehow? How do you all manage? I guess some of you don't How willing are you to break that facade? "The more the merrier", people aren't saying this Might crack a smile if I crack a cum joke Because this is pre-.. me "coming out" to him, the truthful preference, and the widest observers So like, yeah, you get it Sorry The real joke there is that the observers in question aren't getting shit Not if I have anything to say about it No controls on this video You have no control over this situation Supposedly disposable income in exchange for personal survivability YOU become disposable Their own impatience awaits At least one would assume I don't wanna play this fucking role again This miserable fucking role Delete everything it stands for Put a stop to my virtual chemtrails Erase it all from your recollection And I'll go fuck myself in the meantime In a good way, I mean Pink entity's so fucking full forever Drudge along with the weary completionist This link, and that link Endless progress, nothing approaches In a perfect world, I'd link some bitches In a perfect world, you'd interpret her automatically Comprehend boundaries with zero explanation Just leave me the fuck alone Holy shit how are you going so fast How am I going so fast For this subject, there is no light to approach Simply hydraulic heads And no one knows how to read their minds This isn't fiction Do not believe in fiction Things make sense here Don't fuck yourself out Don't even try You'll thank me later when delusions die Was that enough? Did you get enough detail in on that? Enough topics maybe? I feel like you could have gone a little more in-depth Maybe give us a step by step breakdown Of all these funny feelings So I'm inviting you. Let's bitch And you whine, and you whine She likes to do this thing where she speaks in third person Providing this sort of Third Person Or admitting one's faults Yeah, we all know what that means, the fuck? But she likes to add this extra layer to it Part cowardice, part jerking herself off with those glorious "S" and "H" words, in pure referral Because a little pronoun or two could always cure her, not sorry to say Because she's still a fucking egomaniac, right? Down at the center of it Yet we are clearly one person Just different mechanisms And this one fucking sucks I think we first saw this bit in "22.1" Or, the description of it, rather Nicely formerly rushed Made a better call after But perhaps a poor call by writings Because that got you in a bit of trouble She has this problem with assuming intentions always come across Turns out that review was real, in some sense Accidental insulting But back to what I, we, were saying Well, we were saying nothing And I'm sorry about that This is how we come to grips Haha, you said grips How about you grip some bitches, haha Grip these fat fucking nuts, haha The fuck do you expect me to do? Say "Ok, I'm cured now"? Would that add enough depth to it? I'm just spitballing here, really And maintaining some level of abstraction to avoid confrontation And now we're back at square one Deactivate the second fakest voice I thought this was supposed to be a birthday party anticipation song I've been lied to And now, all we can do is wait { it's all fucking silence ; xtnding til 18:00 } {well not really . it was supposed to be all fucking silence origaly} {but now is just mostly. friend sugested i should put music buildup shortly before next voice , so its less of a jmpscare} Your time is up, Agent 17 No more changes can be made And now's her chance to disavow

[[SECTION 1: "Initial Control"]] NAH FUCK ALL THAT NO FUCK ALL THAT NO FUCK ALL THAT NO FUCK ALL THAT NO FUCK ALL THAT NO FUCK ALL THAT NO FUCK ALL THAT NO FUCK ALL THAT NO FUCK ALL THAT NO FUCK ALL THAT FUCK ALL THAT FUCK IT ALL FUCK IT ALL FUCK IT ALL FUCK IT ALL [unintelligible fucking of it all] So, I've come to the realization that that text to speech section was fucking c-c-c-c ing- king- king- king- c- fucking c- ng c- ng c- ng c- CUHH RINGEEEEEEEE! Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Focus. Focus on my fucking words, I need you to FOCUS. I can't help the excess brainwaves. I just need you to try your best. And fuckinggghhhmmfgnjhgmnmnfhnhnahahaha Climb directly fucking inside these veins right here for you All right here cannot undone Okay but yea seriously that section could've been executed better probably I dunno. I think it's kinda one of those things you can't really repair because it's just like so, intrinsically, uh, to do with the concept of it, you know? It all comes down to "self-awareness does not absolve anyone of anything", and like, yea, I get that. Come to think of it, couldn't you say the same thing about what I'm doing right now? But like, that's not the point this time, I'm literally just pointing to a thing I did on the last thing and it's like yea okay that was dumb. We refer to that as "growth", or whatever. However, if I may speak a bit more in defense of that section.. I think if you look past the whole critique of uh, let's call it "toxic self-awareness".. I think ultimately what it's illustrating is a sort of internal conflict. That's probably what I was mainly trying to get at, pretty much. There's this whole idea of different "mechanisms", and "agents" representing my different "eras", split by age for convenience. And the text to speech even says "this one fucking sucks". Which I guess is more of the self-awareness shit, actually, whoops. But like, that's still conveying a frustration with these thoughts of self-doubt. It's like a... It's a representation of the worry that I'd be seen as a babbling whiny lil bitch or whatever, among other things. Also, the inclusion of the 22.1 reference was uh.. While it did make sense as a comparison of writing style & functionality, the problem is, who the fuck is gonna know what I'm talking about there? A few surely, but like.. What a waste of time, probably. But y'know, there was a part of me that was always aware of the flaws with that section I just listed out. I knew I was gonna have to disavow. So it was kind of a setup, actually. I could've repaired things further, but I didn't do more than what was absolutely necessary, in the interest of fueling the explanation you hear now. Basically, it was all part of the plan, actually, fuck you. The difference is a lie. The difference is a lie. The difference is a lie. The difference is a lie. Please don't embarrass me, my love Forever cruel, my hug My chance to disavow The chance to disallow So next thing, here it is. Let's unpack that cum joke cracked back there. What was up with that, right? The answer is very simple, actually, it's like, uh.. The contrast between that and all the lyrics surrounding it is supposed to demonstrate a tendency to cope with humor. That's really all there is to it. But speaking of the lyrics surrounding it, uh.. Do you have ANY idea how fucking terribly a lot of that shit aged in just a few months? Of course, I've still got my brain to battle with, but.. The maternal struggle on display before? Simply deleted. Relationship repaired & overwritten. She treats me well enthusiastically, about a year into my process. Took me to the store so nicely. A bit less life to rant now. But I'll still find something to cover. I have to. Cause what the fuck is the point of all this if I can't? Fuck, there's still so much removal to be had. See, you caught me towards the end of my Crumbling Christian era. Hence the fucking of the devil, and.. whatever else about.. wanting the right communication with this lord. It's quite the embarrassing moment right there, this upbringing of blindness that I'm.. slowly peeling off! And I'll explore it more another time, we'll get to that fucking topic. But don't you worry my little friends, for I have.. successfully, I guess.. semi-confidently fuckin.. escaped! And as for other tracks, um.. In the third section of "Tyranny", there was uh, a brief mention of.. "essential oils" I need to be clear, I've never been like, all about "essential oils" I'm not sure even if that maternal figure.. would entirely fall under that, although she does.. um, indulge very heavily into the "dietary supplement" side of things. So much fucking wasted money, OH YEA and the chiropractor shit, yea that's another thing like I didn't.. realize was actually a fucking scam industry or whatever, um, that she does fully indulge in, and I just thought it was normal, I thought that was how the world worked, that's, that's a-, a- d-, a very normalized accepted thing, but no, that's, like, that's not really.. th-the science isn't there, that's not really how anything works. And, I-I wish it- e- I-I kinda wish it did, but like, that's just.. yea. The context of the essential oils thing, is, um.. y'know I- g-.. it.. it was a.. It was a thing called a "diffuser", I, I was talking about this thing.. like sprays, whatever, it's like.. I mean it might as well be like an air freshener, y'know, that's really all it is, but like, itwa- it was very like, it's like Smooth Air, y'know, it's like.. I-It did help me breathe.. y'know, when I was like really.. really terribly struggling with the, coughing up phlegm shit. [increasingly unintelligible & pointless, drifts off into the aether] I think that's really the worst of everything out of the way [[SECTION 2: "Final Desperation"]] Will the general feeling of embarrassment forever remain Will the general feeling of embarrassment forever remain Will the general feeling of embarrassment forever remain I can explain away all my wants I can.. I can explain away all my want I can explain away all I want There will always be ones.. who don't hear. And that's.. not okay for me. But it probably should be, I should probably not be worry I should probably not be worried I should probably not be worried I should probably not be worried I should probably not I should probably not be worry I should probably not be worried I should probably not be worried I should probably not be worried I should probably not I think it's about time I clarify that moment however many minutes ago where I revealed that some of the flaws with track 5's ending text to speech section were left intentionally. I don't mean for it to sound like I made it bad on purpose, for starters; that all did come from a genuine place, it's just that I began to realize the issues with it *before* I'd turned the right age to disavow, so I had to leave enough of it set in stone that I would be able to carry on with the concept of its disavowal in the first place. And when I say "the difference is a lie", I don't literally mean that the entire difference between agents 17 & 18 on display is somehow fabricated or non-existent. Rather, it's commenting on how that growth had to be stifled a bit in order to uphold the structure of this release, and sorta making fun of how arbitrary the number 18 is as an indicator of "adulthood", because it's not like I was all that different say, a month or two prior to that. I'm not saying I have a better idea, because being at least somewhat arbitrary is ultimately an inherent quality of age-based decisions like that; it's just something I've thought about a lot. Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me, all I want is to please Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me, and just let me be free Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me, old insecurity Listen to me Listen to me Lord only knows what the hell you could see Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me, don't you fucking misread Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me drop the fucking mystique Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me, it's the right way to breathe Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me cuz I'm going insane Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me cuz I'm going insane Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me cuz I'm going insane Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me I can just leave it running Generating proclamation Generating explanation And it's mine I'm speaking of, not yours This is only inner commentary So let it begin again [[SECTION 3: "Auto Collapse"]] ""So anyway, the thing about that last section is I'm really tired. I've been reading since 11:30, not to mention a big chunk of the day. When I read my next-door neighbor came home to his cat he tried to pet him but found him dead in the bathroom and said he probably got ill and didn't tell him. I don't want to deal with that. And it's the same with the vet I go to for our two cats. But the vet said if he did something like that to our other cat he'd think it was an act of God because it would be so out of character. And that's how my neighbor said it happened. (I'm drifting awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) See, my roommates and I had all been playing this prank on our neighbors: every night at around 6 PM, we would open our front door and walk outside while leaving the lights on in the hallway and our door closed. Once we had successfully fooled our neighbors into thinking that we were gone, we'd lock the door, go back into our apartment, pull our bed down to the floor, and have a little indoor camping experience. We'd turn our lights off after we found our beds, so when we came back into our apartment after 10 PM, it looked like we'd been staying the night. Our neighbors would still think we were gone, and when the next day came, we'd return to our apartments and pretend that the door was locked so we wouldn't have to tell them the truth. Of course, this prank was meant to be a little more clever than that... (I'm drifting awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) However, the final frontier of embarrassment across this little pet project of mine wouldn't truly come to fruition until the introduction of the "Rumble" episode. Now, I have stated that the reason the "Rumble" episode wasn't picked up and released on any platforms is that the content could potentially be too vulgar for some viewers. The truth is, I actually took a moment to weigh the pros and cons of the content of this episode. (I'm drifting awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) To understand why I thought this episode could be considered too extreme in content, you have to understand the circumstances of when I made the recording of this episode. I had just finished recording my previous season 2 episode "Trap", and I had the episode "Rumble" recorded at the same time. Now, I'm just some kid making extra pocket money to support my hobbies with a side income, and I have to give you an honest answer to these questions. I took a moment to contemplate if I would even release this episode to the public. Here's what I did consider: First off, a lot of the content you'll see in "Rumble" is the same content I've already done for season 2. But, this time, I added a few things to the content to see if I could get away with adding these things, or would I still be forced to pull this episode in a month or so. (I'm drifting awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) If you recall, the theme of season 2 was "Trap", and this episode is basically the other side of the coin. In "Trap", I used a lot of the same content that I did in the previous season, and even had some content from the previous season that didn't really fit into "Trap", but it still made sense with the overall context. Because of this, I didn't think there would be a problem if I reused some of the content for "Rumble". (I'm drifting awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) What I did with the content wasn't enough, however, for a couple reasons. The main reason is that I found myself editing out a lot of the sexual content to make room for more humor. This was important in making the project more "polished" and smoothing out the flow, but there was a lot of time that could've been saved if I would've added more of the sexual content, and still added more jokes. Now, I understand that the "Rumble" episode might be a little too raunchy for some folks, but I'm not afraid to show sexual content if it's there, and I felt that it was important for me to portray that. (I'm drifting awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) I could have done it without any problem, but I took a moment to think of the pros and cons of adding the sexual content and made my decision. My next point is that most of the sexual content you'll see in "Rumble" isn't anything different. The only difference is the way in which I approach that content. This wasn't enough to get it released. Now, I actually felt that the content in "Rumble" would have been too much to handle for most of the project's audience, because not everyone would be able to handle this type of content. This meant that I had to cut a lot of the content to make room for more jokes. (I'm drifting awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) What I did with the content is make room for more of a comedy environment, so that would appeal more to a variety of audiences. The second part of this is that I made more of an emphasis on the comedy aspect of the project, so that I could avoid having to cut too much content to make room for jokes and save some time. This is because I knew that people in general tend to favor more of the funny aspect of any content, and less of the sexual aspect."" It's all behind her now She rest so easy now All behind her now "Hi! My name is Roxy." "Hi! My name is Roxy." "Hi!" That was fucking stupid! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh no Now I'm just a normal-aged maker I wonder what the beast will have to say to this one It's gonna be fun "It's not impressive anymore We're saying goodbye to jaw drop the floor Your creations will commerce Unfolding prodigy served" That's what we heard At least a made-up fuckin hurt Fleeting novelty What we bring Losing sheen Growing pain Child only in the eyes of the dying Not even the kind for what I try To be, to feel A worried year is breached Way ahead so bleak What remains I can't see Someone please Remind me It's not a big deal ("Your childhood is over") (And maybe that's okay) ("Your childhood is over") (There's much left I can reclaim) ("Your childhood is over") (But my spirit's here to stay) ("Your childhood is over") (Will you just leave me be)

Like a flick of a switch Welcoming committee Like a flick of a switch You can view the titty, hah All as if we haven't been already But this granted a wish And I hope we're happy Can't you see what I've already seen You'll never dream what I've already dreamed Browsing powers at only age of 8 They hardly stopped me, from iPad I'd engage We say thanks to the netscape For all I heard We give thanks to the nude page For the self I've hurt It warps lasting perception Sex deformed That's my explanation For what it's worth That's how you understand a little gremlin like we Rushing process of growing up just to reach for these things Take the time to empathize, don't start a fuckin crusade I know it's dangerous, embarrassing, just keep it polite please Let's catch up with one I see more severe than me Former normal account now "+" since you turned 18 I catch a 34 year old roleplaying with you in the replies Haha like "rule 34", how old were we when we learned that one Remaining younger followers gonna stay here even with new emoji Plus it's like a magnet for a creep that sees you're barely legal Oh no Oh no Oh no Oh no Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no and that just as easily could've been me. It's frightening where the fandoms have brought us One move and you'll become the product Found wars I was never here to fight Always love to feel like it's all fine Cause look back on what we normalized Death traps falling under new disguise Start small and they hit us like a truck And down the line we'll see what was really up It's so fucked Please stop (You don't want to) Realize (But you need to) Can't you Fucking see the issue (With what you're doing) Everywhere (All we see is) Fucking (Desensitizing) Start at (Only child) Inner freak's out (None can save us) Fandom (Watch us feed them) Bonding (None to see here) "I see you" (No you couldn't) "I hear the truth" (No you wouldn't) These few (Actually most) Get it (But it feels like) No one's Ever gonna listen I'm never forgetting the types they've let run loose Compare it to death of the young amongst themselves What's it really like to all of you Prioritize a new combative view You motherfuckers never cared about safety For you, yourself, or me and I You're only here to fulfill your desires No matter the ammo it takes to fire So here we'll go again Consuming with our "friends" Let's browse a funny sub And join a server hub Oh what's that, hi hello And welcome to the show It's all we really know It's how we fucking grow Please stop (You don't want to) Realize (But you need to) Can't you Fucking see the issue (With what you're doing) Everywhere (All we see is) Fucking (Desensitizing) Start at (Only child) Inner freak's out (None can save us) Fandom (Watch us feed them) Bonding (None to see here) "I see you" (No you couldn't) "I hear the truth" (No you wouldn't) These few (Actually most) Get it (But it feels like) No one's Ever gonna listen imagine the poison required to look forward to such age instead of dreading it or complete apathy access to the right apps you knew things you shouldn't it's a wonder you weren't groomed yourself it's a fucking wonder i'm a fucking wonder

Enough of that Now a much-needed tap into local world of disconnect And here's the latest incident Mobile prison roads on the go The whole way home in rage, no escape 15 minutes remaining Work dragging, ego baggage It's why you never tell him anything Unless absolutely necessary I'm sorry I ever doubted this once applied to transition Dynamic double hanging by a thread Locked into supportively absent For my need, for my good A medical emergency perceived even wouldn't do the trick You've claimed improvement But what the fuck was that all about for years to come Close calls with split papers I think back to crying conversation Real use of verbal revealed to me And a friend of yours who knows the same His shackles financial in purity Otherwise you'd take the leave All in a heartbeat When you were made to feel insane Even no shards broken The shells you have to walk in Simple insufficient responses It radiates throughout known doors Plugging my ears, from what remains clear A slight serving for mine as well Perform basic function, poorly timed I knew Reprimand me indirectly, chaos ensues You're claustrophobic as hell, broken loose Please make it stop It's not the end of the world Let's all just get along In pendulum formation Returnal romance novel holiday exchange And the luck so many nights bring But I think back to the times you've run away The possessive embarrassment overpower shouts for front world Calling backwards demeaning child There's a fine line between old fashioned fights and what was here, right? No majority pair like what you've got there It really doesn't have to be like this And maybe it's not no longer Just don't go telling me what's normal With ancient rationale And even dismissing this and accepting premise of rekindle revival My place in this space remains uncertain With him in closet limbo, I dread every interaction Pray with each room visit the existence is invisible Of this form that's constructed I'm no replacement for lacking son Overbearing kindness misdirection I tragically have to keep my distance Must think I'm so cold And the day this breaks away remains a mystery I only hope I can explain But even dismissing this and accepting premise of no daughter rejection Unholy remains could lead drifting apart The one facade I'm left with, for utmost careful Surroundings of glorification While my spirit's well has already run dry Crafting new version, no lasting foundation Tired goes on, learning all of what's been burned Every day I'm grateful for absence from the church Heard of things you could never know I learned So bizarrents, I've forsaken you Never pray for my normal truth Both he and He won't answer soon Just know I seek not to hurt you Oh bizarrents, you don't know what I am Oh bizarrents, worry not for what I became One day I may just disappear The post-home pathway remains unclear You won't know who I am, where I am I could disappear You won't know when I am, how I am I could disappear, overwrite You won't know what I am, why I am But in the meantime I'll do my best I'll be a good friend I'll do what I can What I can with what's left I hope for final years warm and cozy All throughout the cloud of unknowing I can only thank for raising we The only roof I had For what I have to leave And what I had to breathe

I can't win with this fucking thing To win is to lose Mere days after those last words came casual author with no denial My own planned reveal ended not even necessary One final thought to disregard The elsewhere witnessed abuse I'm not forgetting But these are the cards that I've been dealt And we have survived worse Don't let me tell you what hurts To immortalize, it's never worth Moments later, I'll want it burned I need you to forget Have we erased it yet I'll leave here no more regret We'll thank each other for that Just don't get it twisted I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful (...) Now let's never do this again Now let's never do this again Now let's never do this again Now let's never do this again